KNOWLEDGE IS POWER
Esther Nakigude’s mother died of cancer in 1993 when she was ten. Esther was convinced that her mother's illness was her father's fault for beating her so much and blamed herself for not protecting her mother somehow. Esther was left alone with her 3 siblings i.e., 2 brothers, 1 sister and her father, who worked in the different shade fields. It didn’t stop there; her father used to beat her and tell her that she was a burden to everyone in the family and that there was no point in sending her to school. Unfortunately, her 2 brothers weren't any good towards her, therefore she started to look for ways to earn some money.
“I never understood why they didn't care for me, why they treated me so badly all the time, even my brothers”, she lamented.
At age 13, Esther was hired to work at a neighbour’s house where she had to clean up and do most of the house chores around including the heavy workload. Back at home, she gave her father and brothers almost all the money she made in an attempt to win them back, but they ignored her most times thus she started feeling lonely from there, she would walk and talk to herself since she couldn’t have someone to entrust in.
In due time, she decided to move to Mukono district from Jinja district, where she found a job in the central market. When she turned 19, Esther agreed to marry a young man from a nearby village, though she was not in love with him, but she thought this was the only way for her to start a new better life. In the beginning, they were happy, they each had a job, both laughed and had fun with each other. Unfortunately, the fun and laughter were short lived as the husband grew jealous of her and complained about every penny she spent. They began to argue, fight and he started beating her.
As time elapsed, she wasn’t knowledgeable about health changes, circumstances so when the doctor told her she was pregnant, she feared her husband's reaction despite him being pleased when he was informed the first time. Later, his fear was that Esther had to stop working and he would be forced to support all three of them. He blamed her for not taking precautions and beat her up most times when he’s back home due to stress and alcoholism. Due to all that stress and lack of hope from any of her relatives to confide in, she embarked on toiling hard for her and the child she was carrying with a thought of giving her child a better life. Luckily enough, she managed to carry and give birth to a healthy baby despite the few kilograms it weighed. Life went back to normal with her bearing the disrespect from the husband.
From her hard work, she was able to put up her small food and fruits stall which gave her hope to work harder and be able to support herself.
“With the money I was making and trying to save, I thought I would be able to provide for my family, but unfortunately my husband continued to become a beast of torture that I hated my life and yet I was pregnant for the second baby”, she cried.
Esther had to harden up the fact that she knew that there's no one to rely on, not even with the few friends she had around in the neighbourhood. Despite the trials to report the husband to the police for intervention, there was little/fatal support given. Instead, it looked so awkward for me to stand up for my rights and fight against the violence I was going through in all forms from physical, intimate, emotional violence. I won’t say that my husband was never good, well he would at times try to be calm and quiet but those are the few times which I can count.
One day, while in the community, there was an announcement made through the community radio about a dialogue that was to be held and supported by Anchoring Communities Uganda. I am delighted that I attended the seminars for 2 days, where different topics about gender-based violence and equality approaches were discussed. During these sessions, we were encouraged by the moderator to feel free to share and discuss different experiences, problems and how such issues can be navigated through in families, communities and which kind of support can be rendered to the victims of any kind of violence.
She added that, “The two days were so engaging, informative to me and I wish I knew all this information and personal rights to be held up high while I was still young since my past still holds a lot of painful memories, Knowledge is power indeed”.
Hence forth, after the seminars held in the community. Esther is super grateful for the opportunity. She says that she has been involved in other community activities that advocate for women, children rights that are under health and education of their well-being. Esther says, even at her home quite a lot has changed and believes things will get better as time revolves.
My husband is no longer that violent, and for cases where he tries to assault me, I stand up to my rights without disrespecting him. “He has attended some community dialogue sessions that advocate for human rights and fight against gender-based violence-I guess that is how he has tried to change”, she laughs off.
Due to the numerous engagements in the communities where she has solved, settled issues, and shared her experiences she has been taken on as the known “Nabakyala” in her village. She believes lives of people are positively changing slowly by slowly through the other leaders’ and her advocacy strategies used in the community to end GBV cases which were high before.
She continues to ask for more other opportunities, support from Anchoring Communities Uganda and other people for such sessions, dialogues to help people get informed and improve their lives.
We also welcome livelihood programming in our community for our youth and women, she adds.
